"I recognized the grief I felt for the person that I lost was equal to the love I felt for him. And the love I felt for him was a pure reflection of the unconditional love I am capable of feeling for myself."
When I sat down to write this book, I had a very different book in mind. I was inspired to share the personal growth and spiritual lessons that were transformative for me. 32 chapters, each focused on a key word that had emerged from my daily studies and I intended to write about them from a positive, positive & negative, scientific and experiential perspective.
But as I delved into each topic another story started to emerge from my experiential perspectives. A story centered around my spirituality and a relationship that had sparked my soul many years ago. I set the first book aside and focused my energy on this second book that felt like it was literally crying out to be written.
Celebrate Your Grief, Transforming Your Loss into Self-Love emerged as I went into the darkness of myself to embrace the parts of me that I had kept silent and suppressed for fear of the pain that were associated with them. In my early twenties I was in a profoundly soulful relationship that felt deeply connected and rooted in spirituality. I had immense love for this man, who, after our romantic relationship ended, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and a year later, committed suicide.
Through my research into bipolar disorder, suicide and continuing personal growth studies, I came to recognize that I was frozen in my grief for this person. The more I searched for connection with my higher self, the more often I found him there. It wasn't until I came across a quote from Maryam Hasnaa that I began to truly understand what this connection was. She wrote “When you feel a void from missing someone what you are actually feeling is missing the connection to yourself that you have when you are with that person.”
Celebrating your grief is acknowledging that the grief you feel is equal to the love that you have for your lost beloved. It is recognizing that the love you felt for them is also, and always only could be, the reflection of the love that you are capable of having for yourself. It is taking the time to appreciate those moments, those reminders, the little signs, the tears that come at you unexpectedly and the smiles that they can bring when the memory of your beloved returns you to your love.
I came to learn about and heal myself though deep introspection and writing. I had to remove myself from my surroundings to be able to become fully present and connected with my source energy.
This is where I found the words in my upcoming debut solo book Celebrate Your Grief. As I take what I have learned about my source connection out into the world around me, I am guided to continue my writing journey with a series of books of which Celebrate Your Grief is the first.
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"This is very powerful, thank you for your courage. This is the start of a new and very powerful way of expression and healing." Starman
"It's amazing and extremely touching, to the point you will not want to put it down." Anna Dykeman
"As delicate as this topic is, I think you described things gently and beautifully.” Kacy
"I'm glad someone's talking about suicide, it's one of those topics that make people uncomfortable, so they pretend it doesn't exist until it happens.” Mackenzie
"I must commend you for writing about something this delicate and you honestly killed it. The way you wrote, the tone and everything was perfect.”
"Celebrate Your Grief is an emotional roller coaster that starts with the author's tragic story of loss. Page after page reveals depressing guilt, hurls us upward through manic highs, and ultimately ends with a thrilling release of stagnant inhibition. A new person emerges as the author proclaims that allowing every emotion to surface is taking one step closer to loving ourselves. Masterfully done!.”
"What an amazing book you’ve written! I finished it all in one sitting and I can’t tell you how much I thoroughly enjoyed it! You are an extremely talented writer and storyteller and honestly, as I was reading through it I thought to myself, “this could be a movie!” And I truly believe it could be. It was moving, enlightening and I couldn’t put it down as I wanted to know what came next... I cannot wait until you have it published… Thank you SO much for letting me share in your journey of your wonderful work of art. I’m truly honoured to have been one of the first to read it! ”
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Photos by Kandie Eshbaumer and Alex Scott
Book Cover Design by Anna Dykeman with moon photo by Anthony Christensen.
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