a story of unconditional love...lost.

When I sat down to write this book, I had a very different book in mind. I was inspired to share the personal growth and spiritual lessons that were transformative for me. 32 chapters, each focused on a key word that had emerged from my daily studies and I intended to write about them from a positive, positive & negative, scientific and experiential perspective.

But as I delved into each topic another story started to emerge from my experiential perspectives. A story centered around my spirituality and a relationship that had sparked my soul many years ago.  I set the first book aside and focused my energy on this second book that felt like it was literally crying out to be written.

Celebrate Your Grief, Transforming Your Loss into Self-Love emerged as I went into the darkness of myself to embrace the parts of me that I had kept silent and suppressed for fear of the pain that were associated with them.  In my early twenties I was in a profoundly soulful relationship that felt deeply connected and rooted in spirituality. I had immense love for this man, who, after our romantic relationship ended, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and a year later, committed suicide. 

Through my research into bipolar disorder, suicide and continuing personal growth studies, I came to recognize that I was frozen in my grief for this person. The more I searched for connection with my higher self, the more often I found him there. It wasn't until I came across a quote from Maryam Hasnaa that I began to truly understand what this connection was. She wrote “When you feel a void from missing someone what you are actually feeling is missing the connection to yourself that you have when you are with that person.”

Celebrating your grief is acknowledging that the grief you feel is equal to the love that you have for your lost beloved. It is recognizing that the love you felt for them is also, and always only could be, the reflection of the love that you are capable of having for yourself. It is taking the time to appreciate those moments, those reminders, the little signs, the tears that come at you unexpectedly and the smiles that they can bring when the memory of your beloved returns you to your love.